"the convenient truth"
| |
|
Yesterday I received a nice birfday treat from Erin. I had been praying all day for God to reveal some sort of path so I can begin this "amazing" reformation inside of me that is supposed to change my heart. Note a bit of sarcasm and I did that because no one acts like they believe me when I tell them things like this and I completely understand. I was sitting on the porch reading that "every man's god's man" book I got from keystone. The first chapter talked about debt...Then I prayed for some sort of revelation, no matter the cost. Sometimes you ask God to break you because you think you have nothing to loose. Well, she stopped by and offered to take me to Family Christian for a devotional (for my birfday). Damn. Prayers answered for the path, just waiting for the slap in the face. I picked up the first book i saw "Falling in love for all the right reasons" by Dr. neil clark Warren. The creator of the #1 matching making service. Didn't realize it at the time, but after I started reading the damn thing I got frustrated with it. The whole book is in short, ways to find your soul mate. You can't be serious, God. I pray for a path and you send me this? I skipped the first chapter, shying away from all those inconvenient truths dr. warren swears up and down that make a relationship work. My eyes glues to the title of the next chapter. "Good character"....Slap. Well, thanks God. My eyes couldn't blink. "how can you spot someone with a character disorder?" Watch out for signs that reveal a diminished sense of consciousness. People who willfully and regularly lie, exagerate, or cheat have no regard for the rights of others. It's almost as though they feel "above the law"; the rules apply to everybody else but not to them." A diminished sense of consciousness to me means rude behavior, whiny, flaky, lying, etc. You name it. I realized through reading this chapter TWICE the things i need to change dramatically. No one wants to be around someone like this. Not even me. So why do I act like these ways? Dr. Warren explains: "I've spent my whole life as a psychologist. I believe people can change for the better if they genuinely want to and are willing to do the tough work to see change happen. But I must confess, my prognosis for a character disorder offers little good news. Only three experiences seem to bring any real change to someon who has a long-standing character disorder-a stint in prison, serving in the military, or a deep spiritual transformation..." This spoke to me deeply on a strong level. One of the moments in life you read something and it takes you for a spin! You either embrace it or ignore it. I am becoming more and more open minded these days and this book seems to open a path to understanding good character and embracing it. The character of a man of God. "Doing more puts a man in Control Doingmore is a safe style for men. Doing more implies theres an end to it. Doing more lets a man pick the changes he needs to make. Being more allows Gid to reveal the changes a man needs to make. Doin more is about correcting behavior patterns. Being more is about connecting with God's character." - Arterburn Thank you God for being so patient with me. I've fucked up so much and I know an apology only goes so far. Change me from the inside out and give me strength and perserverence to become the man you want me to be. The man she needs me to be. |
[ archive | profile | email | guestbook | host ] |